How many times have we heard positive quotes, sayings, and poetries written on self-love and its importance, and how much have we actually learned from it and implemented in our daily lives? Let us ask you, what do you understand when we say ‘Abundance of Love Comes from Within’? For many, self-love is all about treats like going to the spa, a cup of coffee while reading your favorite book, getting a massage, shopping, etc. What we do not understand is although these are some parts of it, self-love is not all about these things that are external and from the outside. In fact, it’s the inside that matters the most. What you have outside is only a manifestation of how you are feeling on the inside. It is about accepting yourself, accepting your mistakes, and telling yourself that it is okay. It is okay to not be perfect, okay to make mistakes, and it is okay to have flaws. After all, we are only human.
For many, self-love is the new fad, popular amongst teenagers and early adults. It is considered to be a luxury when in reality it is a necessity. Many, if not all of us, seek validation, love, and support from others. Why do we do that? Why do we desire love from others when we are perfectly capable of loving ourselves just enough? There is nothing wrong with wanting to be desired by others. It is in human nature; wanting to feel loved and appreciated. But what happens when the other side stops seeing us in the way they use to? What happens when we are not as attractive, wealthy, or popular as we used to be?
When everything is gone, what’s left?
The Source Of Abundance
“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. “
~ Wayne Dyer ~
Our world is only a reflection of what’s happening inside of us, of the way we perceive our reality and who we are.
When you begin to realize this, you stop seeking love and affirmations from others, you stop defining who you are by things that are happening from the outside. Self-love is the purest and most important form of love. Some would even say that it is the only form, as we are all connected. When you start loving yourself and you start believing that the love you have for yourself is enough, everything in life becomes easy, all the pieces start to fit in, and people start looking to give you their love. Unlike before, you don’t need their love, they are more than happy just to give it to you. They want you.
Unlike before, you stop tolerating people that treat you unfairly and even make you miserable, only because of the fear of losing their ‘support’. Have you encountered people like that in your life? People that you know deep inside that are not good for you? So why are they in your life? It’s because you feel insecure with what you have, and agreeing on settling for less than you really deserve.
When you stop looking for validation from the outside, you are expressing who you really are, and begin attracting towards you the people that are right for you. Being constantly hungry for love, support, appreciation, and so on, is the opposite of abundance. Will an abundant person be chasing for something that they have plenty of? Would a person that feels loved and appreciated will spend their time with so-called ‘friends’ of theirs that are hurting them? When you are feeling that you have enough love for yourself inside you, you start respecting yourself, and all of a sudden you are strong enough to take off and move forward in life.
It Helps You In Every Aspect Of Your Life
Self-love is the building block of happiness. It will not only help you in one aspect, rather than helping you in living a better, more successful, more peaceful, and more fulfilling life. When you start loving yourself, you start appreciating yourself and everything that you do. It is in human nature; we tend to be very hard on ourselves. Even when we try our best in achieving something, when we fail, even if we did the very best we could, we self-blame. This is wrong. When we start loving ourselves, we understand that what happened was nothing but a mere twist of fate, and we tried our best to do what we had to, but it simply was not meant to be. When we go with this mindset, everything seems easier in life. We stop getting self-destructive thoughts, instead, hope for a better future.
When we start loving ourselves, we start to see the best in ourselves. We start keeping up with the promises that we make to ourselves and are open to forgiving the mistakes that we make.
Self Love Leads To Self Acceptance
Self-love and self-acceptance go hand in hand. You cannot say that you love yourself when you drive yourself crazy with self-blame as soon as something goes down the hill. Again, is that something that an abundant person would do? Self-acceptance means to forgive yourself. It means accepting yourself, as who you are, with all the amazing traits and all the flaws. When we do not practice self-love, we ultimately have a hard time accepting ourselves, to ourselves. So, we care a lot about what others think of us and how they perceive us. When we accept ourselves and love ourselves for who we are, we stop caring about what others might think of us. We do not seek validation from others because in our minds and in our hearts, we know how we are, who we are, and where we stand. So, no matter what others say about us, it no longer affects us.
You Are No Longer Ashamed Of Yourself
Nobody is perfect. Neither are the people we see on television or the people we idolize. We forget that this world can be very pretentious. Not everything we see is the truth. When we start loving ourselves, we are no longer ashamed of what we have, how we look, and of past mistakes and failures. Self-love allows us to be ourselves, it allows us to reveal our true, genuine self to the world.
The notion “self-love is being selfish” is completely wrong. When you care about yourself first, prioritizing your mental and physical needs first, and think about yourself first, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you will not take care of yourself, who else would do it for you? And, when you are capable of taking care of yourself, why does anyone else has to, unless they want to from their own heart?
It Helps You Understand Yourself
You are a unique human being, with gifts, talents, and character that are one of kind. There is only one you.
When you start giving yourself time, love, and attention, believe us, you will discover some great things about yourself, and you will get to know yourself like ever before. Like a plant that with the right amount of sunshine and water blossoms, so shall you find yourself reaching places within yourself that you did not know exist. When you start knowing yourself more you understand what things help you heal, what triggers you, and what works in making things better for you.
When people say “we know you more than you know yourself”, they cannot be more wrong. No one can know ourselves as we do. No one knows what goes around in our minds late at night, what thoughts keep us up, and what our wild dreams and desires look like. No one knows the feelings and thoughts we have better than us.
Now, let us discuss how we can practice self-love.
Never Compare Yourself
Comparison is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Are apples better than oranges? Are birds better than fish? You are not more nor less than anyone else, you are unique. Making these comparisons literally kills our confidence and shatters our image in our own heads. When you start comparing yourself to others, remind yourself that they have lived and are living a different life than you. Everyone has their own path. You have your own pace and they have their own. There is no competition. Remember that everything is planned out and will happen according to time.
When you compare yourself to others, you are only making yourself anxious. You are only self-pitying and nothing good will ever come out of it. By comparing yourself to others, you cannot fasten your own process. Everything will happen at its own time, maybe not how you planned it, but will definitely be towards the betterment.
Practice Self Love – When It Is The Hardest To
It is very easy to love and appreciate yourself when everything is going smoothly and according to what you have planned, according to how you ‘should’ be, how you are ‘supposed’ to be. But the real test is when things go opposite to what we had initially planned. It is the hardest to love ourselves when things fall apart or we make a mistake. During this time, when you do not know how to deal with the intense rush of emotions, think, how would someone who loves you will be with you at this point when you are so low.
The people that truly care about you, the real you, will be kind to you, they will make you realize how it is okay if sometimes things fall apart and life is disappointing you. Imagine how they would console you and be like that with yourself.
Furthermore, hypothetically speaking, if your child was going through the same thing, how would you encourage them? Can you give yourself the same treatment and care, the same compassion, the same unconditional love?
Be With People Who Lift You Up
In the beginning, when this transformation and process are delicate and fragile, it’s important to be surrounded by people who are positive about themselves and others and who inspire you to be the best version of yourself.
People who lift you up, people who see you as who you are regardless of any titles, looks, or social status. Be brave. Be brave enough to cut yourself from people that are leaving you in your comfort zone, of not changing the way you act, and see yourself, just because you are afraid to go into the unknown, afraid to start over.
You will not fall in love with each and every part of yourself. You will find flaws and you will find things within yourself which are hard to love.
Remember, you do not have to love everything, but you do have to accept each and every part of yourself. The gap you feel and the lack of love that you feel can only be fulfilled by you, and not by anyone else. And when you start practicing self-love, all of a sudden you will notice that the bad becomes smaller, the good becomes better, and that you might even awaken into a new awareness.
