How would you define happiness? The state of being happy is a broad term, generally consisting of positive feelings such as joy, laughter, contentment, and satisfaction, perhaps even seeing the magic in life. More importantly, happiness is essential for a healthy lifestyle. Scientific research has concluded that people who report to be happier in life tend to report lower stress levels and are significantly better at coping with the troubles in life.
While happiness strengthens our psychological wellbeing, it also contributes towards our physiological health in astonishing ways. Remaining happy is clearly linked to a better immune system, especially since happier individuals eat healthier diets consisting of fruits and vegetables and engage in physical activities quite often.
But when you are projecting an image of happiness that is not reflecting how you really feel, you are not enjoying any of the above, right? In fact, you might be experiencing the exact opposite.
The definition of happiness is also often being described as fun plus meaning. Coming from focusing on things that bring you joy – such as being active, achieving a milestone, spending time with friends, or even simply getting a good night’s sleep. But what if you have all of the above, yet you are still feeling empty from the inside?
What Is The Price Of False Happiness?
In the real world, one cannot possibly remain happy all the time. As a result, each one of us has been forced to plaster a fake smile and pretend to be joyful, only for the sake of those around us. Following the norms, following our social conventions. But, what is the price of false happiness? While this may be acceptable during a bad day or a bad week, it certainly is not okay to be faking happiness at all times. Why? Because the price of false happiness is far higher than you would normally imagine.
The main reason why people pretend to be happy is due to its social acceptability. Not all of your life events always coordinate, after all it may be your best-friend’s birthday on the day you lose your job. In such rare cases, faking your happiness may seem like the only option available. However, there isn’t much time before this ‘rare day’ becomes a habit and you find yourself faking smiles wherever you go.
When a person struggles with feelings of depression, it may be hard for them to open up to the people around. However, it is even more harmful to mask your depression with a fake smile and constantly show the world that you are fine. When one has to force themselves to be happy, there is a bigger problem stirring in the mind. With false happiness, one can overburden themselves with the problems of others or forget to prioritize themselves at all, resulting in a potential mental breakdown sooner or later.
Demonstrating False Happiness
If you are somebody who struggles to find their own happiness and has constantly relied on faking it, you might even not be able to differentiate between fake and real happiness anymore. Is it in that stage, of comfortable numbness, when you find out that you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror anymore, and no longer remember who you are.
Since the price of false happiness can result in such a tough sum to pay, it is important to identify when and how you and other people are being in a constant state of fake happiness, so you can be aware of it and put an end to it on time. There are different ways in which one could be demonstrating their phony joy, and some of the most common ones include:
The Fake Smile
Many people tend to fake smile their way through life, all while repressing their true feelings of unhappiness. By doing this often enough to develop a habit of flaunting fake smiles, one can actually start feeling much worse. Fake smiles can make you feel inauthentic and amplify the problems of not addressing your true feelings. Additionally, by faking smiles with people who care about you, you lose the help of loved ones who would be willing to show support if they knew you were truly upset. Habitual fake smiles can also lead to burnout – a situation where you exhaust all of your energy into pretend-happiness thus failing to focus on any other important endeavors, such as work, family, and social connections.
Optimism, But For Show
While many self-help centers recommend positive affirmations in order to assist positive thoughts, they are simply only a method of faking opinions about oneself. According to some people, these beliefs are meant to eventually translate into permanent realities since they can be linked to personal mantras that are repeated until believed.
However, this make-believe optimism could do more harm than good. Positive affirmations could be a sign of a delusional self-image in the long run, and lack of self-acceptance in the short run. Similarly, fake optimism can also backfire as people start believing the exact opposite of what they are pretending to believe. This is because the subconscious mind cannot be fooled easily, and endlessly ignore true feelings that need to be expressed. This results in becoming increasingly resistant to any optimistic thoughts – even ones that used to be present since childhood – resulting in heightened feelings of unhappiness and increased stress levels.
‘Extroverted’ Introverts
Since society is putting an emphasis on the extroverts than introverts, even people who are introverted begin to start acting extroverted, in order to be like everyone else, to fit in. This kind of false happiness can result in bigger problems in the future, especially if one starts overburdening themselves with such pretend habits.
By acting extroverted, introverts would be more exposed to situations that are typically stressful for them – such as being outgoing and social. Who said that everyone needs to have constant social interactions? If you’re an introvert what’s wrong with it?
This constant effort to cope with the stress can crash any person.
The Impact of False Happiness
By pretending to be happy all the time, one isn’t helping anybody. In fact, the price of false happiness accumulates to become one that has extremely harmful impacts. There are serious negative effects on mental health as well as interpersonal relationships as a result of false happiness.
Pretending to be happy consumes a large amount of energy and being tired all the time can make you feel much worse. Even after becoming accustomed to false happiness, you may still be wishing for the people around you to notice your unhappiness and provide you with help. After some time, you may even be wishing to give up the pretend happiness entirely. Not only does this result in deteriorating mental health, but here the price of false happiness can be the lasting mental issues where one questions their own worth or hesitates in opening up in front of people. This phase is often leading to an inevitable crash, that comes in the form of panic attacks, health crises, continuous depression, and even a complete mental meltdown.
False happiness also affects interpersonal relationships since eventually, the people close to you will be able to notice your fake happiness. When they do, they are likely to either feel like you did not trust them enough to be your real self, or that they failed you. Either way, the price of false happiness, in this case, becomes a tainted relationship that you might have lost for good with somebody that you love.
Alternatively, one cannot pretend to be happy at all times and will sometimes become tired of it. In such situations, the way you interact with people might change suddenly with no explanation, thus leaving the people around you puzzled. As a result, the price of false happiness would be all the friendships that you lose due to your unstable behavior.
Why Are You Faking Your Own Happiness?
In many cases, people start faking their happiness when they are experiencing severe trauma or depression in their personal lives. At first, people fail to recognize the price of false happiness that they would be paying in the future.
Depression itself can be a very crucial mental illness and it is necessary for patients to seek help from a therapist or counselor. However, instead of opening up to people around them and choosing to seek professional help, people may resort to false happiness pretending in order to remain ‘normal’.
People may also start pretending to be happy if they feel like they do not deserve – or have access to – real happiness. This usually occurs after a major setback in life, such as losing an important relationship or failing at achieving a significant milestone. Letting go of failure or loss of a relationship is difficult, but faking your mental state is not the way to overcome these difficulties. These feelings can also be heightened by watching and idolizing other people who seem to be reaching new heights in their life and are satisfied with themselves. Feelings of jealousy and self-doubt are likely to result in fake happiness.
Finding Real Happiness
Instead of falling down the rabbit-hole and continuing to pay the hefty price of false happiness, one must take a step towards becoming their true self and find real happiness. There’s only one you, and once you seek for things that are right for your true self, you can find true happiness. Luckily, happiness is so subjective that it could even be found in the tiniest of things. According to many psychologists, following are some of the renowned ways of changing your perspective towards life:
Say Hello to Gratitude
By focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t, gratitude gives people the contentment they had been long searching for. It allows you to celebrate life as it is and be thankful for the experiences you have. In order to achieve gratitude, one must reflect on their own life and think about all the things that they have been blessed with. With gratitude comes feelings of positivity, a healthier lifestyle, and a more optimistic state of mind.
Put Your Strengths First
While it is easier to focus on your weaknesses and undermine yourself, it is necessary for you to invest your time into your strengths. Seeking every possible opportunity in the world is impossible and will only lead to failure. Again, there’s only one you – why go out for things that are not right for you?
However, focusing on your own strengths and developing them into potential opportunities will result in greater chances of success. As a result of feeling accomplished and satisfied with your own self, feelings of happiness are likely to pour in, and build a massive life momentum that will carry you on.
Be Kind
First and foremost, you have to be kind towards yourself. This kindness and compassion will enable you to accept who you are and not treat yourself with judgment. Let yourself be comfortoble with who you are, regardless of social conventions and norms.
In addition, by treating other people as well with the same kindness and compassion, you’ll see how your entire environment starts changing dramatically for the best.
Establish a Healthier Lifestyle
A healthy diet, a good night’s sleep, staying hydrated, exercising, and meditation are just a few things that contribute heavily towards your psychological wellbeing. By hiding and faking your feelings your body has been conditioned in certain ways, and it needs to restore back its natural balance. Embracing a healthier routine will allow your body to cope with stressful situations in calmer ways, thus making room for you to find happiness in the little things in life instead of faking your way through every interaction.
The Final Word
By developing coping methods and realizing the alternatives to false happiness, you can eventually work towards embracing your true self. Every individual deserves to feel emotions on their own terms and should not have to prove their feelings to other people. Faking your own happiness brings nothing but harm, so it’s a good thing that true happiness is always around for you to find and welcome, and perhaps even awaken you into a new awareness.
